Getting Tapped Every Day: How to Handle Your Ego in BJJ
Nothing exposes you like jiu-jitsu. Rank, job title, how tough you were in high school. None of it matters. A 130 pound blue belt will tie you in knots and smile about it.
The first few months are mostly getting submitted. How you handle that decides if you stick around. If you’re getting tapped every day and it’s messing with your head, this one’s for you.
Why getting tapped in BJJ hits so hard
Most people spend their lives being decent at something. You’re good at your job. You’re strong in the gym. Maybe you played sports. Then you step on the mat and somebody you’ve never met holds you in place like a toddler and there’s nothing you can do about it.
That’s a hit to the ego, and it stings. It also means the mat is working. Jiu-jitsu doesn’t care about your story. It shows you exactly where you are.
Tap early
Tapping is communication. It says “you got me, let go.” Holding out to save face is how people end up with injured elbows, knees and necks, and months off the mat. You can’t train from the couch. A tap is not a loss. A trip to the doctor is.
Pro tip: tap before the pain, not after. Once it hurts, you waited too long.
Stop trying to win practice
Rolling isn’t a fight. It’s a lab. Try the move that failed last week. Let someone pass your guard so you can work your escapes. You can’t learn from positions you refuse to be in.
The guy who refuses to get tapped in practice never gets better. He just gets angry. Don’t be that guy. Everyone knows him and nobody wants to roll with him.
The guy who always beats you
Everyone has one. Don’t hate him. Use him. Roll with him, and each time try to learn one thing. Just one. Maybe it’s how he holds his grips. Maybe it’s where his weight sits. Six months from now he’ll notice you’re harder to catch, and he’ll tell you.
How to stop letting losing rounds ruin your day
- Keep a notebook. After class, write down the one thing that got you and one thing that worked.
- Ask the person who tapped you to show you what they did. Good training partners will.
- Remember that the difference between you and the guy tapping you is time on the mat. That’s it.
- Don’t compare your week one to someone else’s year five.
Bad days happen
Some days you’re sore, slow and distracted. You’ll get smashed by people you beat last month. That’s normal. Show up anyway. The mat doesn’t care how you feel, and that’s exactly why it works. The training sessions you least want to do are usually the ones that build you most.
What this does for you off the mat
Staying calm when someone is on your chest and you can’t breathe. Thinking clearly when everything in you wants to panic. That carries over to work, family and every stressful thing life throws at you. People who train jiu-jitsu for a while tend to get harder to rattle. That’s the real prize.
If you’re brand new, start with what your first month of BJJ feels like. If you want to see how this plays out in other fight arts, read MMA training for beginners.
Check your ego, tap early and come back tomorrow. That’s it. That’s the whole secret.
FAQ
How do I stop letting my ego get in the way in BJJ?
Tap early, treat rolling as practice instead of a fight, and focus on learning one thing per session. Accept that being bad at something new is part of the process.
Is it normal to get tapped every day as a beginner?
Yes. Almost every beginner gets submitted constantly in the first months. It means you are rolling with people who know more than you, which is how you learn.
Why do I feel angry or embarrassed after losing a roll?
It is common. Training exposes your limits and that can sting. It fades as you get comfortable with learning and stop tying your self worth to winning practice rounds.
When should I tap?
Tap as soon as you feel pressure that could injure you, not after it hurts. Early taps keep you training for years.
Train hard. Dress like it. 80SIX makes combat apparel for BJJ, grappling, MMA, boxing, strength training and tactical training. Shop the latest drop and Live Tough.
